Adventures in Brisbane

So Todd is in Hawaii doing what he needs to do and I am in Brisbane watching the homefront. How hard can that be? Sheesh I am super woman! My GOD when does he return! I am doing well but damn this single parent shit sucks.

Let's sum up some of my adventures:

I left Bruce (the beta) too close to the stove top the morning after Todd left. His glass bowl was really cold and I guess the heat contraction was just too much. I heard a crack and a hiss, as I was turning on my new vacuum for the first time, and I could not figure out what the noise was from. As soon as I walk in, his glass bowl falls apart and Bruce cruises across the hot range on his way to the floor. I save him off the hot burner and dump him in the dogs water dish. Well the dogs loved that. Fish in the bowl and nasty algae water EVERYWHERE. Being water dogs, they start playing in the water on the floor and continue to get really frisky and chase each other around the house. Meanwhile I have the bowl above my head trying to save Bruce from the dogs. I run across the floor to escape the dogs and I slip on the water which sends me hurtling into the family room. However Bruce remained unharmed. I still have to clean up the algae foot prints. Bruce was ok but a little stunned. The dogs were happier then pigs in shit, covered with algae water and chewing the sea grass. Nice...

I later try out my super duper vacuum. Serious Electrolux stuff. I spared no expense on this one. This shit has a car motor in it which means super suction power and heavy use. I need both in this house. I turned it on and went around the corner to move a chair and the puppy got to close. Sucked half of his little body right up. I was seriously afraid I would have to retrieve him in the HEPA filter. He was freaked out as I was trying to get his leg out of the hose. It didn't occur to me to turn off the vacuum first. Fucking house work...not for me! I nearly sucked up the dog.

So after a few days without Todd, cereal for breakfast was getting old. I decided to go marketing and fix myself something warm. I found my way around the supermarket ok and proceeded to cook myself a nice meal. I bake, not cook mind you. I burned the chicken, turned the broccoli into paste, and charred my potato. The potato caught on fire and I had to throw it out the window. The puppies thought that was great! Now there are bits of charred potato all over the yard. I ended up ordering pizza, it was safer.

I almost washed ANOTHER gecko! I saved him though. That will learn him for hiding in my sock. Todd would never forgive me!

Cappy is moping that Todd is gone and she insists on sleeping on the couch. She is clever and gets up there at 3am when I am not around. Last night I put on her Frontline behind her neck. Guess what slept on their back on the couch last night? Yeah...you are right. The couch is now ruined and I already am pricing having it re-upholestered. That oily mess will never come out. Great...

On a better note, we did get our crate and I put the bed together all by myself! I put the allergy cover on, set up the frame, and hoisted the oversized queen mattress on it myself. I am so proud of myself.