Coming back

I just realized how much I miss blogging. Alas, after March 25th I am going to chronicle some new activities. Stay tuned!

Strong Enough

I can't help but sing this song over and over and over again. But it makes me sad:(

"Strong Enough"

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I’d be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing’s true and nothing’s right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It’s try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care
When I’m throwing punches in the air
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

Pandas?

So it appears, sadly, that Mei was not pregnant after all. So sad because I was really hoping to see a panda when I return in Dec.

Two more weeks left of my internship and then back to BNE! Yeah! Before I return I have a trip to Zermatt to see the Matterhorn and then a stop in Birmingham, UK (long story but I suspect most of you know why). I will post pics of my trip soon enough but to be honest, I have not spent a lot of time outside of the WHO. I know...very sad.

Happenings in Europe

Once again, I am a slack blogger. BUT I have a very good excuse, I have been interning. Yes, I temp left my student days in Australia for the 8am-7pm business suit high stress days. God, I am so not ready for this. I have learned a lot so far in 2 weeks of my time at the UN. If you want to know how I feel, drop me an e-mail:)

On a sad note I have a lateral meniscus tear. I did it in yoga which really pisses me off. Of course I wouldn't hurt it running or in soccer:/ I am very sad.

Anyway, MRI pictures to come!!!!

Happy 3rd Birthday Tai Shan

Pleasure and Danger: Explorations of Female Sexuality

That is the title of my new book. I originally bought it to help me with my dissertation but now I am totally into it. Now, I must state that I AM NOT A FEMINIST. I'm not; but I write like one. There is a chapter in my thesis devoted solely to the sexual body and external constructions of female sexuality in Cambodia. Sexuality oppression makes me want to be a feminist but thanks to my mother and grandmother, I don't feel that way back home.

Queer theory is another thing I like...along with Foucault and Mary Douglas. The whole thing about a sexual body being a polluted body makes me uneasy but is reality in many parts of the world. Actually, it is reality at home too. If a man fucks himself dead, he is a "DAWG" if I do it than I am a "SLUT". Still true today in 2008 and probably will remain that way for some time. On that same line, why do men see women as reservoirs of pollution when they are the polluters? Example: The only reason that a sex worker is dirty is because of a man's fluid...yet he is the one that put it there in the first place. Why is he not considered polluted? These are issues I am wrangling with...lucky me.

Leav'en on a jet plane

It's official, I am outta here...well at least for a few months. I am going to be a UN intern at the WHO headquarters in Geneva. I am super excited!!! Not only do I get to spend time in Swisse but I get to visit London (for some shopping and dancing), Tuscancy (for my conference) and Norway. Plus, it doesn't stop there, I get to see my fam. That is an extra bonus b/c I have not seen them for a long time.

I have 2 weeks until I leave. I have my ticket, my housesitter/roomie to watch my pups, my suitcase partially packed, and a new bikini. I don't need much more than that. Well maybe some business clothes:)

Happy Birthday Meemers

Happy birthday big Cappers! Mommy looooooooves you. This is how my girl spent her birthday morning. She invited herself onto my bed...bad girl.

Next on my list

My next car will be a hybrid. I have made up my mind! It is funny to sit in Oz and read about gas prices in the US. People in the US I have one message for you "SHUT UP". People in the US have some of the lowest gas prices in the world. In the UK they pay nearly $12 a gallon and here in Oz we pay $7.80. Believe me, it HURTS filling up the gas guzzler. To make it worse, I am driving a 1994 station wagon that gets...ooooh, 4 miles to the gallon. I never drive anymore...ever! I just can't afford it on my stipend. However, that said...I have religiously started riding my bike. I am too high maintenance for the bus and the distance are a bit long in BNE to walk everywhere. So I bike it now. In the past 3 months, not accounting for weight loss due to stress or the end of my marriage, I have dropped 10.2lbs without even trying. There is plenty of energy in THIS tank to get me around BNE. So when I do get the funds for my hybrid I will buy it but until then I will use my ass to power me around town.

That's right bitches!

Washington Earns a Spot Among the Nation's Fittest Four

Vogue

Dear Vogue,
I am booked.
Regards,
Katia

4:25:11

The title my friends, is my marathon time! My best time EVER despite rain, wind, hills and a broken heart. I was kick'n ass and taking names. Despite the loooong journey (the race was about 1.8 miles LONGER than a typical marathon) I still finished strong and with a HUGE smile on my face. Pictures to come!

What is going on?

Is this the beginning of Armageddon? No seriously. Myanmar is washing away, China is buried, hundreds of people have lost their homes (and their lives) in a freak tornado that ripped across Maryland, Pennsylvania and Virgina, and this food crisis is reaching an unprecedented level. Then I have my own drama with the end of my marriage...but that seems really insignificant to what is going on in the world. Actually, it helps me put everything into perspective. I would rather lose a husband than lose a life. Seriously, I am going to go read some Nostradamus and see if this was predicted. Amazing!

Sooooo close

Less than a week to go before marathon day! I have been checking the weather for Melbourne area and it is about 9C. It will be even colder on the coast. I prefer that to sunny QLD anyday!

Sooo...now that I am single again I have been repeatedly asked how I feel about the whole situation. There is a quote which comes to mind that sums up my feelings in a nutshell "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" ~William Congreve. Things will be ok, things are ok. I am moving on and will be stronger for all of this. Todd however...well...he'll get his:)I sure hope he picks up his clothes before trash day...

Last night on...

First of all, I am NOT an Oprah person. I never watch the show. Usually when I do come across it, I am waiting for the next show on afterwards. With that out of the way...

Last night as I was waiting for Sex in the City I was watching the last 15 min of Oprah. The show was about a professor in Pittsburgh who has been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. It was about the process of dying and things he was doing to prepare himself and his young family for his death. Let me say, I LOVE his outlook on life. We view life in a very similar fashion which is live life to the fullest. I will NEVER regret anything I have done but I might regret things I did not do. That is what I fear the most about the end of my life; accomplishing everything I want to do.

This man was very straight forward about his fears (pain being one) and about what he wants to do in his last final months. He is mobile and pain free at the moment so he makes the most out of his time i.e. playing football with his autographed Steelers football, playing with his kids, and lots of sex with his wife:)

The thing that really hit home for me was the question: "How have you rearragned your priorities?" His reply was "Even before the diagnosis my priorities were always established...the diagnosis didn't change a thing." Good man! I thought about that myself. If I was diagnosed with terminal cancer today, what would I do? The answer was plain as day. Not much! My priorities are just the way I (emphasis on I) want them and I am doing EXACTLY what I want to be doing. I am fortunate enough at 30 to have seen a lot of the world. I have loved, been loved, been screwed, been fucked, made love to, laughed, cried, and screamed.

I would like the time to do a lot more of that but I truly live each day as if it is my last. I pack it all in and I never say "I will put that off until next year" (unless it involves writing my thesis).

I wear my good lingerie for a quicky and even when I vacuum the house. I can't wait for that "Special Moment"...what if it never comes? I wear my finest jewelry when I walk the dogs and when I eat out in Paris. My favorite running shirt is my $55 shirt from Ambercrombie and Fitch and all my underwear is "good underwear". I spend a lot on my running shoes because they protect my knees. I eat candied almonds that are $90/lb (I only buy a few grams!) and I like my wine expensive and tasty. My bed linens are the softest, after all life is too short to sleep on rough sheets, especially when sleeping is one of your hobbies.

Point is, we shouldn't wait. Our time might be up sooner than we ever imagined. We should do what makes OURSELVES happy, not anyone else.

I love Elvis

I love Elvis:)


Its now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
Its now or never
My love wont wait.

When I first saw you
With your smile so tender
My heart was captured,
My soul surrendered
Id spend a lifetime
Waiting for the right time
Now that your near
The time is here at last.

Its now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
Its now or never
My love wont wait.

Just like a willow,
We would cry an ocean
If we lost true love
And sweet devotion
Your lips excite me,
Let your arms invite me
For who knows when
Well meet again this way

Its now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
Its now or never
My love wont wait.

Life after the dissertation

If I had a nickel for every time somebody asked "What are you going to do after graduation?" I would be in Costa Rica on a beach. What made me really nervous the other day is that BOTH my advisors asked me that same question in the same week. Are they nervous because I haven't talked about life after graduation? Should I be looking for a job? What the hell do I want to do anyway? Errrrgh, these question make my palms sweat and my stomach turn. I just don't know! Not a clue! No freaking idea! My main advisor was seriously trying to tempt me to stay here and do a post-doc. Tempting. It would require very little effort on my part to secure the position and the pay ain't so bad either. Considering the state of the U.S. economy, it might be wise to stay here for awhile. Job, check...house, check...car, check...sunshine, check. Even Todd, who initially bitched about BNE, has no problem staying. His job is not so bad either!

We will see though. After my 3 months in Europe I might just want to stay north. Getting back to the states is not only a bitch flight but very expensive. Ick...no more on that topic.

Four more weeks until marathon day! Thank god! I am over this long run bullshit:( I am certainly over getting up at 0445 to be running by 0530. It is still fucking dark and we are entering autumn so daylight is only getting scarcer. Sucks...I hate BNE winters. Bring on summer!!!!!

Cultivating inner peace

I know the title of this post sounds cheesy! However, my goal for the next 2 weeks is to cultivate some serious inner peace. It is tough...no lie. I figure if I can do it despite the turmoil of my professional and personal life then anything else will be easy.

When I think of peace, this poem comes to mind. I used to have it hanging in my room as a little girl and somehow it got lost. However, I always keep a written copy in my wallet. Lately I have replaced my meditation mantra with this poem entitled Desiderata.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrman, 1927

Panda Month

Sunday marks the beginning of panda month at the National Zoo! How exciting! If I was in DC, I would be at the zoo everyday. Sadly, I am not:(

There is a lot happening around here but I don't have the space to put it all down. I am sure that those who do happen to read my blog already know what is up.

On a good note, I am so close to submitting my article to the Journal of Social Science and Medicine. Thank you GOD if this thing gets accepted!

Marathon Training

T-minus 8 weeks before the Great Ocean Road. I did 20 miles this Sat and it was OK. I have done 20 miles before but I did not feel 100%. However, it was really humid so I will cut myself some slack. My goal for this race is to finish in under 5 hours. So far, if I maintain my pace, I will finish at 4 hours and 59 min. YIKES! No room for lallygagging as my dad would say.